June 15th

Today is my ninth birthday and to mark this orspicious auspicious (looked it up in the dictionary), Oma gave me this lovely diary. I really like the cover. It has a blue unicorn on it and all these little silver stars. Oma said it is important to write down your dreams and ideas and what happens to you because it's lovely to look back on. Don't know why, nothing ever happens to me! Aunt Magda and Aunt Marta said that I might have real talent like my Dad and become a writer one day. Aunt Katarina said 'pish' (she always says that) and said writing everything down is a good practice to get into because you never know when you might need to use someone's words against them. Whatever...I don't think I'll have much to write down. Nothing ever happens in my life.

August 4th

What a surprise! Couldn't believe what happened today. Dad went for one of his walks (Dr Proteus calls them his 'constitutionals' - I thought that's what the rules Americans followed were called?), and when he came back, he had a puppy!! He's a beautiful long-haired golden pup with the biggest paws. Oma said he'll be huge one day. He has got the gentlest brown eyes and he looks like he is smiling. Dad said he saw a sign outside a house that read 'Golden Retriever Pups For Sale' and he went and retrieved one for me! Dad hasn't done anything like that for years. Oma started crying. Dad said the puppy's name is Hubris (what a dumb name, it's Greek for pride or something). But I don't care about his name - he's so adorable and follows me everywhere. The cats have freaked out - especially Psyche. Cupid had his face licked and spat a bit. Phoenix is staying on top of the cupboard and watching - his tail is all fluffed. They'll be right in a few days, Oma said. They just have to get used to the pup. Hope so. Hubris ate all the left-over spaghetti for dinner and then did a great big poo on the kitchen floor. Oma had to clean it all up. Right now he's on my bed chewing on something - it's my slippers!! Aunt Katarina's going to kill me; they're the ones she gave me last Christmas. I hate them anyway - they're pink with pom-poms on top. Well, they used to have pom-poms. I have to take him outside now. I am SOOO glad we have Hubris.

November 12th

It's been ages since I last wrote, but nothing's happened, except for this weekend. Yesterday, Oma, Simon and I caught the train and went to the mountains. Oma loves the mountains. She grew up near some. We didn't tell anyone, but we were going to search for fairies and pick blackberries. Simon wouldn't have come except that he got out of mowing the lawns. His mum always makes him do stuff like that on the weekends. On the way up, Oma met this really nice old couple and spoke to them in German. Oma speaks four languages: German, Hebrew, English and Australian. That's what she tells everyone and they laugh. We walked for hours and hours, it was so lovely. We had a swim in this really clear rock pool and lay in the sun to dry off. Unfortunately, though I looked real hard, I didn't see any fairies - but Simon did. Clear as, he reckons. He said if I told anyone, he'd punch my head in. I didn't tell him about the fairy that's always in my dreams.

December 25th

Christmas. I thought it was supposed to be a happy time. Dr Proteus came over and was saying stupid things and pretending I'm not here. He’d only been in the door a minute when he shoved this big needle in dad’s arm which made him fall asleep for most of the day, not that I noticed any difference. I had some cool presents from Santa - a boogie board and couple of CD's I wanted. Dad didn't get me anything. Well, there was a present under the tree - a really nice sketch block and pens, but I know that Oma bought them and said they were from him. I don't care. Uncle William was funny. I think he had too much eggnog to drink and decided to pick up Aunt Magda. He fell over and she landed on top. We all heard a big crack and thought it was his back, but they'd landed on Aunt Katarina's new Wedgwood cake plate and broke it in half. She was so mad. She went this really weird colour and couldn't speak for ages. Uncle William stuck it back together all wrong so now it looks like a work of art - at least that's what Aunt Marta said. Aunt Katarina didn't say anything, she just made these really weird noises with her teeth.

Simon came over for a while. That was good fun. We're going to the beach tomorrow so I can try out my boogie board. It's lime green - Aunt Magda's favourite colour. Aunt Marta said it'll probably attract the sharks. Aunt Katarina said only if Aunt Marta's riding it.

January 1st

Watched a dumb movie on television – some old thing with all this kissing and stuff. Oma cried and the twins carried on a bit. They looked terrible; we had a party last night and all they did all day was lie on the sofa. They only got up to go to the toilet. I noticed they drank heaps of water. Aunt Magda said they were sick because of all the excitement of the last week, what with New Year and Christmas. Aunt Katarina said it was because they stuffed their fat faces for over a week. She’s always so grumpy. Rained non-stop all day. After dinner, Aunt Marta left the roo, for a while and when she came back she was soaking wet. Aunt Katarina asked her how come and she said the tap in the bathroom sprayed her when she turned it on. Aunt Katarina said she shouldn't present such a large surface. But that wasn't the real reason Aunt Marta was so wet. She'd snuck up to her and Aunt Magda's room and taken the empty champagne bottles out to the bin and got caught in the rain. I knew because a piece of wire from the cork was stuck in her hair. I didn't say anything.

January 26th

Go back to school tomorrow. Be good to do something – these holidays have been so boring. It’s rained nearly the whole time and Simon went to stay with his Aunt and Uncle in the country so there was no-one to muck around with. He got back today, but had to unpack – we waved over the fence. Guess I’ll see him tomorrow at the bus-stop.

July 29th

Can't believe it's been over 6 months since I wrote. Not that anything much has happened. I'm in year 5 now and have this really cool teacher named Mrs Curtis. She made new curtains for the classroom and all. I really like her because she lets us do plays and stuff and she really likes my drawings. She's already pinned three up on the felt board at the back of the room. I turned 10 last month and, for my birthday, we all went to the movies and saw this really dumb flick called, Shakespeare in Love - erk. Actually, it wasn't that bad. But I wanted to go and see Jurassic Park 2 - so did Simon, but the twins really wanted to go to the other one. They were so embarrassing - they cried and sighed the whole way through and made loud comments about the guy playing Shakespeare's eyelashes. People were turning around and shooshing them. Simon and I wanted to move, but I couldn't leave Oma. To make up for it, the twins took me to see Jurassic Park 2 the following week. They screamed and fainted when the dinosaur killed the guy and the usher had to come and help revive them. Simon wanted to throw his coke over them, but Oma wouldn't let him. Afterwards, people came up and thanked them - said they were more fun to watch than the movie.

August 12th

Dad was put in hospital today – at least that’s what Oma said, but I heard Aunt Katarina talking to Dr Proteus and she called it a mad house. Aunt Marta said that’s what our house is – I think she’s right. Dad hasn’t been back to that place for a few years. Oma was really upset, said she thought dad was getting better. I made her a cake to cheer her up, but while I was making the icing, the twins ate most of it. So we went out and bought one instead.

September 2nd

School sux! Mrs Curtis has left to have a baby and we got this other temporary teacher for a few weeks and she's awful! Her name's Snodgrass and she's supposed to be over at the high school but is in 'transition' that's what she said. She's really mean and won't let us talk or act or draw. All we do is listen to her and write. I reckon the high school didn't want her so they gave her to us. Simon said she's called The Almighty Snot by the others - a real bogey woman.

January 31

Last year of primary school. Yeah! I've been made House Captain - our house's name is Armstrong, after the man that first walked on the moon - but Aunt Magda says it's also the name of a famous movie director, Gillian Armstrong. That's cool. I want to do both - walk on the moon and direct a movie one day. Teacher seems okay - Mr Williams. He's old, but got a really nice twinkly smile. He plays the guitar well too - but today he played some really old songs by some guys called The Beetles. What a dumb name! Next week he said he's going to play stuff by a band called the Rolling Rocks or something. He didn't even know who Korn or Limp Bizkit were!

March 15th

Dreamed about the fairy again last night. Couldn't get her face out of my head all day - not that I wanted to. She's beautiful and always makes me feel good about myself – not so lonely. Hope I dream about her again tonight. Oma’s told me not to mention her to Dr Proteus. I wonder why? Would he make me go to the mad place too?

April 2nd

I’ve broken my arm! I was having a go on Simon’s skateboard when a truck came into our street. It gave me a fright and forgot to watch where I was going and crashed into a parked car – it really caned! My wrist was hanging at this weird angle and there was blood from a deep cut. Simon took me back to the house and the first thing Aunt Katarina did was check the car was okay. Aunt Marta fainted when she saw my arm and Hubris jumped on her and licked all her make-up off. Aunt Magda tried to get him off her, but he thought it was a game and pushed her over. She ended up whacking her head on the hall table and acting all funny, so Uncle William took us to the hospital – Oma came too. After this really nice doctor bandaged me up, she gave me an Easter egg and then Oma and I went and visited dad whose in another section. He was playing backgammon with this really cool guy and they let me play too. Is it just me, or does dad seem happier away from Dr Proteus?

We were getting in the car to leave when we remembered Aunt Magda. She’d got bored waiting and was wandering around the hospital. She got tired and lay down on one of the beds. It took us ages to find her. One of the nurses, who thought she was a patient, gave her some sort of drug to help her sleep, so she didn’t hear her name being called over the loud-speaker. She was really funny in the taxi on the way home. She kept saying stuff that I wasn’t supposed to hear. Oma kept covering my ears… but I heard some of it!

May 21st

Got my arm out of plaster today! It stunk! It looks all scrawny and pale. At least I’ll be able to play netball and hockey now and the Touch Football coach, Mr Chung, asked if I’d be available to start with the next lot of rounds. I will be now – cool.

June 10th

It’s freezing! Too cold to play outside so Oma, Simon and I went and hired some movies – we all chose one each. Simon chose Terminator, Oma chose Erin Brokovitch – which was good – and I chose Dude, Where’s My Car. It was great fun. We made popcorn. Dad even came down for a while and watched Terminator for a while, then he went back to his study. It was a good day. It’s my birthday in 5 sleeps – wonder what I’ll get?

August 20th

So much time has gone by since I last wrote. I haven't dreamed about the fairy for ages which totally sux. Speaking of sux, Dr Proteus hung around all day. Oma invited him over because Aunt Katarina was coming and they get on, but he couldn't take the hint and leave when he was supposed to, could he? So he ended up staying for dinner as well. I hate that, because whenever he's around, Aunt Katarina picks on me non-stop. Not even the twins were here to make it fun. They've gone on a holiday to Hawaii so they can lie on the beach and soak up the sun. Aunt Katarina told them not to soak up too much or they’ll cause an eclipse. Dad just sat there like a vegetable and, whenever he did try to say something, Dr Proteus would interrupt. I can't stand the way he talks to Dad - like he's a baby or something. He's such a creep. Simon can't stand him either.

My team won the netball finals – it’s my fifth trophy.

February 1st

First day of high school. It was scary but cool. I dreamed about the fairy again last night and when I told Oma she said that it was my guardian angel. I like that idea. Well, she was with me today, that's for sure. This one kid, a new guy named Brewster, tried to pick a fight with me because he reckoned I stole his pen. What a load of. He just wanted it because it was a Harry Potter pen. I told him to leave me alone and he was about to shove me into the lockers when these senior kids who were chucking a football around came running past and accidentally hit Brewster in the head. It was unreal! He spun around and nearly fell over and, when he stopped, it was like he couldn't remember what he was doing there and walked off with his stupid friends. Saved! But I can tell I'm going to have to watch him. Simon was there and offered to beat the crap out of him, but I want to look after myself.

All my teachers seem okay though it's really weird having a different teacher for each subject. I saw that Ms Snodgrass stalking around the corridors. You can tell no-one likes her - not even the teachers. Hope I don't get her for anything ever!

March 28th

Easter holidays - Yeah! Simon, Oma, Aunt Magda and Aunt Marta and I made chocolates today - it was so much fun! Though, when we went to count them up at the end of the day, there didn't seem to be that many. Aunt Magda said we'd miscounted. But I saw her and Aunt Marta stuffing handfuls in their faces!

March 29th

Hubris got into a heap of trouble today. He somehow snuck into the twins' bedroom and found their stash of Tim Tams and ate them. He was covered in chocolate - it was really funny. Aunt Marta was on the toilet when Aunt Magda found the empty packets and started screaming. She came running out of the loo, doing up the straps of her overalls. They both started chasing Hubris, who still had a biscuit in his mouth. What they were chasing him for, I don’t know – pointless if you ask me. Who wants a dribbly, dog-chewed Tim Tam? As Aunt Marta ran past, I shouted that she had this white plastic thing dangling off her overalls. She ignored me and kept running. All this blue stuff was streaming off her leaving a trail everywhere. Finally, down in the kitchen, after Hubris fled into the back yard, she stopped and I told her there was something on her back. Immediately, she jumps up and down and starts screaming – she thought it was a spider and the twins hate spiders. Aunt Marta’s running around yelling ‘Get it off me! Get it off me!’ Aunt Magda starts freaking out every time Aunt Marta goes near her. Hubris starts barking and jumping at the fly-screen door, the cats race under the table and everyone was shouting It was so funny. Finally, Aunt Marta flops on a chair and we saw that the thing on her back was the plastic air freshener thingy from out of the bowl of the toilet! The blue stuff had gone all funny and oozed out of the sides and melted down her back, all over her shirt, her overalls, and all over the floor. It took ages to clean up. Hubris snuck back inside and even licked some of it up – I wonder if he’ll poo blue? Aunt Katarina (she came last night) was asleep when everything started and she came into the kitchen and asked what all the fuss was about. She said she couldn’t understand the carry on and that Hubris was doing the twins a favour by eating their Tim Tams. She also said that is Aunt Marta wasn’t such a barge arse, she would have seen the air freshener. She's so mean.

October 11th

Ages since I last wrote. Oma tidied my room and found my diary; I thought I’d lost it. Nothing much has happened though. I'm 12 now. My birthday was okay. All the Aunts were there, dad, Oma and Simon. We went to this restaurant by the water - really expensive and we had to dress up. Would have been okay except that Dr Proteus was there and gave everyone death stares all night. The twins were their usual embarrassing selves. There was a karaoke machine and people could get up on stage and sing. First they sang happy birthday to me (I wanted to crawl under the table), then they kept singing and singing - all these ABBA songs and stuff. Other people tried to have a go, but they pushed them off the stage. This big security guy and a man who must have been the manager (both who were bigger than the twins) told them to get off. In the car on the way home, Aunt Katarina said that dad wasn't the only disgrace to the family. Sometimes I really hate her.

June 16th

Yesterday was my 13th birthday and it started in it's usual way with everything going wrong and the twins making a scene and dad copping out. Then, it all changed. First, dad gives me this revolting necklace and says it’s from my mum. The Aunts had a fit. Well, if that wasn't spinny enough, I put it on and bang! I'm taken on this wild ride and end up in this other world called Morphea – my mother’s world – the place she’s from. It’s so hard to describe, to put in words. I know one day I'm going to have to try and tell it all so it can be put in a book. It'll have to be called, It's Time, Caz, or something like that. Not that anyone would believe me. But it was incredible! While I was there, I met this Harpy - a half-woman half-bird, named Rapture, she was great! A flying horse named Pericles, and this three-faced witch called Hecate who tried to kill me. I was kidnapped, beaten, starved and trained to ferry all these dead people along a river by a skeleton guy called Charon who usually ferries the dead down to Hades (which is like hell but nicer). But I was rescued and met some really good friends of my mother's - the Graces. They are drop-dead gorgeous. There's so much, but I can't tell anyone except dad. We still haven't talked about it, but we will. Dad's still a bit shaken up because Dr Proteus nearly had him put away in a mental institution while I was gone - that was weird too. While I was in Morphea. a whole month went past, but when I came back, only minutes had gone by. I was able to come home and, with Simon's help, stop Dr Proteus - who, it turns out, isn't a Doctor at all. He's a spellcaster - like my mum, but he’s a really mean one and he was hanging around all the time to try and steal my necklace to get back to Morphea. But he's gone and dad is smiling again. Aunt Katarina's so mad. But I don't care! Whoever said nothing ever happens in my life? I can't wait to get back to Morphea, but I'll hang around for a while and make sure dad's okay first. I'm not really sure if I know how to get back there. It’s got to have something to do with the necklace. I’ll work it out. Till then, I'm never taking it off! Not for baths, showers or anything!

I wonder when I’ll get back there though?

I wonder when, or if, I’ll meet my mother?